Sunday, May 12, 2013

THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY


This is me pretty much everyday but especially lately, so I found this pretty funny. Whilst doing nothing, I was browsing through some random articles, Pinterest, etc., etc., when I came across this website. It's called Skinny Gossip and is basically a pro-eating disorder website that bash beautiful women in the industry that are already very skinny, normal weight or have athletic builds. 

This website is absolutely disgusting

I became so angry reading this website. Why? Because it is absolute ludacris and they are bashing on Victoria's Secret models who have to-die-for bodies already!!! I don't see why this website is still up and who on earth would contribute to it or read it. 

Let me share a little story with all of you; it's a pretty personal story but I like to think that I am an open and I enjoy sharing my experiences, good or bad, with people. 
Back in 2008, I was finishing grade 8 and the anticipation of high-school had us all in jitters but yet excited for the next four years of our lives. It was a time when we were growing into our bodies, some bloomed later than others but for the most part, we were either in or beginning to enter the first stages of adolescence. So, there were many of us who still had a little "baby fat"; I was one of those. 

I was never fat by any means, I just enjoyed a slice of pizza more than once a week, I liked to have McDonald's from time to time and I sat in front of the computer while eating occasionally  I was your typical pre-teen who didn't need to worry about her body...but I did. 

Towards the end of grade 8, I began to cut foods from my diet and I began exercising. Very long story short, in about 5 months time I had dropped 30 pounds, only ate fruits and drank green tea during the day, worked out compulsively and had been officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I suffered for about a year and a half from this vicious eating disorder and was told if I didn't make fast changes to my lifestyle, I would not see past summer. This didn't scare me so I continued to be obsessive with the food control and exercise. I lost an additional 10 pounds, whittling me down to an alarming 90 pounds (I am 5'7 or 167-168 cm so it was pretty obvious). In December 2008, I went to the doctors and was told that next week I would be admitted to a hospital because most people who were as malnutritioned as I was were either dead, dying or experiencing organ failure. Luckily, I experienced none of these. The doctors were amazed because it's very rare when the heart rate, organs and all that other good stuff function with such low vitamins, food intake and water intake. Looking back, I suppose this was a sign that I was meant to outrun the eating disorder and go on to influence others with my story. 

To sum it up: by January 2009, I was 90 pounds, extremely weak, every bone was visible, my skin was gray, my eyes had dark circles and were sunken in, my hair was thin and brittle, I couldn't stand for more than 20 minutes, my bones cracked whenever I moved, my ribs hurt every time I laid down, I was aggressive and angry at just about everything and I was socially isolated from my friends and family. These were definitely the darkest times in my life and it all turned around on January 9th, 2009 (I have 1/9 in roman numerals tattooed on the side of my right wrist). This is the day my life forever changed. Against my will, I was dragged to a series of doctor's appointments, a therapist and nutritionist. The start of my the rest of my life, as my mother called it. I hated her for it but as the days went by and I gave into treatment, I couldn't have thanked her more. 

Over the next 5 months (I had a fast recovery), I turned my life around completely, discovered my passion for writing, wrote a book on my experience, gained my friends back, told my self I was beautiful every morning regardless of what my body size was, learned to accept food as fuel instead of something that will make me fat, learned about myself and I learned the beauty of life. I know it sounds all fairy-tale happy ending and unrealistic but that's how it happened. I found it within myself to get better since an eating disorder is mainly a mental thing. I let go of the monster in my head and flooded it with the ability to be healthy AND happy. It's the hardest thing I have ever done but I made it through and I know that others out there struggling can too. 

Most people view eating disorders as negative experience in their past but honestly, I view it as one of the best things that happened to me. Okay, so not when it was happening or what could have resulted from it but looking back, it changed who I am and made me realize so much about life, myself, self-image, beauty in all shapes and form and other people. I learned how important family is and who my forever friends are. I discovered my passion in life and what I love doing (writing, if you didn't get that from before). Because of this experience, I am going to spend the rest of my life writing and helping others who have suffered from an eating disorder or face self-image issues. As I mentioned above, I actually wrote a book about my experience and included experts from my diary; the good, the bad, the raw, the real, the ugly. I sent the book to several publishers but I haven't been home in a few months so I'm not sure what's happening with it all...we shall see!

So, back to why this website infuriated me so much...as you read above, you might understand where I am coming from. An eating disorder is a SERIOUS issue that needs to be dealt with and having a website such as this is in no way a good thing or encouragement for people, especially young girls and boys. Jokes about HEALTHY women should not be made and it's just disgusting to see that people get joy out of trashing a model for have hips, breasts and a butt instead of skin and bones. I think everyone can agree that the Victoria's Secret Models are skinny as is and have bangin' bods. Why bash on them? Pro-anorexia is not the way to go, again, it's a serious problem that affects and even kills many people. 

It'd be nice to see this website taken down and the mastermind behind it all. How much do you want to bet it is someone who has extremely low self-confidence and self-image issues? 

I wouldn't doubt it for a second. I feel sorry for you, whoever you are and I hope you get the proper help you need. 

Travel on wanderlusters!

P.S. If I get some emails or requests for a post specifically on this topic, I will post some parts of the book and talk about it. Again, I am really open about it and view it as a topic that can ultimately help people in the long-run.

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